
If your friends CrossFit, you’ll know it because it’s all they ever talk about! The dictionary below should be useful to those CrossFit or who have friends who CrossFit and have io idea what their friends are talking about. Also good if you need a laugh!
21-15-9: favorite rep scheme for many of the Metcons. 45 reps in total, however it feels more like 450. Always starts out with: “That doesn’t look too bad.”
400M: Stupid, incessantly annoying runs, usually around a building. Best completed while inhaling diesel fumes, or dodging traffic.
6am’ers: Cheery, coffeeholic members who only show up at 6:00am. May be treated as Noobs at weekend classes or clinics, simply because other members do not know they exist. If one shows up at an afternoon class, look out. The world may end. Same can be said if an afternoon regular shows up at a 600am class.
Airdyne/Assault Bike: Ungood all around. Part stationary bike, part punching drills, all nasty. You are doing it right if the sweat dripping off your nose is levitated by the fan spinning. Really doing it right if the sweat comes back at you!
Burpee: Banned by the Geneva Convention in 1899 as unfair punishment. Adored by CrossFit instructors worldwide. Originally named the Squat Thrust by gym coaches. Burpee sounded more friendly. Sadly, we were duped. Squat down, kick your legs back, do a push up, bring your feet to your hands, jump in the air, clap your hands over your head. Repeat. Vomit. Could be used as punishment for politicians who cannot come to an agreement. Burpees until they resolve all outstanding issues.
Cleans: Explosive Olympic lift where you take the bar from the floor to your shoulders by jumping and pulling yourself under the bar. Otherwise known as a reverse curl. Requires lots of practice and should be practiced with a dowel or empty barbel every day.
Tutorial
Double Unders: Fap, ow. Fap, shoot. Fap, Damnit! Fap, how many singles do I sub? The rope passes under your feet twice instead of once. Easier for smaller lighter people. The rest of us look like our legs have been whipped.
Tutorial
Ewwww: Common retort when the WOD is a mix of Turkish Get Ups, Bulgarian Split Squats, Box Jumps, and Burpees
Fem-Bot: Usually starts out with a thought: “She’s cute, I’ll work out next to her.” Turns into “She has more weight on her bar, she’s moving faster, and is completely crushing me. I need to leave, now.” Worst outcome is she’s the trainer. More weight will miraculously appear on your bar if left unattended. She wants to make you better. Your ability to survive the WOD is inconsequential.
Goals: Can’t hit something if you don’t know what it is. Track your progress and set goals for thirty days out. Look at the WOD before you go in and have a plan of the weight you will use along with any substitutions. Talk to the trainer and ask if they agree.
Hand Stand Push Ups: It starts with getting upside down and the putting your feet against the wall. Then lower your head to the floor and push yourself up. Good times. You will fall. Everyone does. HSPU is the warning, I mean abbreviation.
Progression Tutorial
Innov-8’s: Minimalist running shoe favored by CrossFitters because of the simple design and low heel height. Surprisingly more expensive than regular sneakers even though they have less material. Cool color combinations, which is handy because you’ll have several pair. Addict.
Jerk: Pushing the barbels over head by dropping under the bar and straightening you arms and engaging your shoulders. I have been accused of completing a push press instead of a jerk. Obviously they can’t see the difference.
Tutorial
Kipping: Pretty much the foundation of the majority of lifts and movements we complete. Explosive hip drive movement. Takes a lot of practice to do it correctly. More commonly used with pull ups. Progression Tutorial
L-sits: Horrible. No idea who came up with them. Incredible for strong arms, shoulders, and core. Starts on the floor with PVC pipe where you kick your legs out in front holding them parallel to the floor. Torso is perpendicular to the floor. Pros do it on the rings. Example
Metcon: We lift weights to get stronger. We lift weights faster for cardio. Short for metabolic conditioning. High intensity cycle consisting of lifts and either running, rowing, or body weight exercises like pull ups, HSPU, etc. My personal favorite is Diane. 21-15-9 225 dead lifts and HSPU. You won’t die. You’ll just feel like it.
Nanos: Brought to us by Reebok. Direct competition for the Innov-8’s. Favored by CrossFitters For the low height and versatility. Favored by Reebok because of the price. Lots of cool colors and they are customizable if you want to wait two to three months.
Omergawdddd: Common response when someone tries a heavier than normal weight for a dead lift or clean. Also common response when asked “How was the WOD?”
PR: Personal record. We celebrate them all. Could be for the fastest 400 meter, heaviest triple, getting a double under or a rope climb. If the box doesn’t have a PR bell or a board dedicated to track these, find a new box.
Quit: No meaning because it doesn’t exist. Similar to unicorns and Sasquatch. There is no quit.
Rx: Completed as prescribed. Followed the weights and movements with zero substitutions. You graduated.
Sweat Angel: Think snow angel minus the snow. The WOD is over and you crushed it. Assume the position. Flat on your back on the floor, arms and legs sprawled out like a starfish. Eventually the walls will stop shaking. Take a picture and post on Facebook. You accomplished more in an hour than most will do all day.
Turkish Get Ups: Nobody likes these. Evil drill which consists of holding a weight overhead while standing up from the floor and them laying back down. Tutorial
Uberfit: Clothing company which one day may be as big as Under Armour. Clothing for athletes designed by one of our own! You Need A New Shirt
Victory: You did it! Celebrate every win. Ring the bell and track it in the log book.
WTF?: Common thought when the WOD doesn’t make sense or the trainer has an 800 meter run in the warmup.
X-out: What we do to goals. Hit the goal. Cross out the goal. Add a new goal.
Yowsa: Prescribed response when a fellow CrossFitter hits a new PR or when you hit one. It is a team sport. Celebrate everybody’s wins. Best way to cool down? Cheering for the people who aren’t done yet!
Zercher Carry: Carrying a significant amount of weight by making an L with your arms. The barbell or yoke rests in the crook of your arms. Usually carried for 50 to 100 feet.
Example
Links to other CrossFit dictionary’s.
CrossFit Active Performance
Arenal Fitness
CrossFit Manassas
Thank you for reading and have a great day.
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