Playground Etiquette

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Yes. That’s right. I called it a playground. We jokingly refer to the gear as “toys”. We all have our own favorite “spot” on the playground where we are stronger, or gravity is weaker, or it gives us a better look at the clock…or some of the other members. Beware. I’ve had a little too much coffee today and I’m hungry. Those of you who know me, know that is not a good combination.

I think it is time to instill some eitiquette guidelines….actually, no,…straight up rules. You break them. Burpees, followed by more burpees, with a cash out of pistols and TGU’s. Seriously, your Mom doesn’t work there and if she does you are old enough to clean up after yourself. Turd.

CrossFit Rook’s Rules of Conduct:

Show up on time. “On Time” means ten to fifteen minutes early so you can fill you water bottle, tape what needs taped, get your shoes, wraps, bands, chalk, and whatever else you need in order to kick the WOD square in the tail. Class starts at the posted time. That doesn’t mean you waltz in at that time and then do your stuff.

Do the Whole Warm Up:

I am guilty of this, big time. Starting October 1, it is a short term goal to do the whole warm up. Even it if is an 800M Indian Run which in my opinion have no place whatsover in a warm up. Anything more than 400 is too much. It’s a warm up for the workout, not a workout before the workout.

Introduce Yourself:

Say good morning or hello to people whom you do not recognize and introduce yourself. Good rule of thumb is if you don’t know them, they probably don’t know you either. See how that works? In most cases they are fellow torture lovers who usually attend different class times. In other cases they may be a drop in which means they are traveling, staying in a hotel, eating crappy food, and are away from their friends and family. A cheerful greeting and handshake go a long way.

Don’t Complain:

The WOD’s are challenging and generally suck. We don’t pay a sum of money equal to a car payment in order to be instructed on how to complete cable curls and the pec deck. Of course they are hard. Of course they are going to be difficult. That’s the point.

Depending on who does the programming, and what model they are following, there may be some repetitive stuff. Now you’ll get better at it. A good example was earlier this week. We had J.T. which is a hero WOD, and could mean just triceps. Two days later we had close grip bench and wall runs. My shoulders and tris were jello. Now they’ll come back stronger, probably in three to six weeks.

Listen, then ask Questions:

The Coach will go through the WOD, the movements, the rep counts, the whole thing. At least give them the courtesy of being quiet and attentive. Let them go through everything before you ask questions, unless of course, they ask if anyone has questions. That would be a good time to ask.

Give 100% and be Honest:

Don’t scale to get a faster time and don’t short count reps. That’s B freakin’ S. Scale if you really can’t do the movement or the weight, or if you have been hitting it hard and need more of an active rest WOD than a beast maker. Talk to the Coach, they will be able to help you determine what is the right substitute. Short counting reps is the equivalent of taking money out of the collection plate at church. Don’t cheat!

Cheer on your Fellow Twisted CrossFitters:

What is the best way to cool down after a WOD? Cheering for those who are not yet done. Awesome work, you killed it, now go talk the new person or drop in through the rest of their WOD.

Put Away Your Toys:

The primary reason I don’t do the whole warm up? I go to 6:00am class and I spend the first ten minutes or so cleaning up the stuff that was left out from the day before. Bands still hanging from the pull up bars. Bumper plates left against the wall from HSPU. Barbells left on the rack from squatting. Rollers, ab mats, water bottles, weight belts……

Clean up after yourself. Put your stuff away where it belongs when you are done. If something was where it wasn’t supposed to be when you got there, and it’s still there when you are ready to leave, guess what? Put it away. Please. With Progenex on top. And maybe a pair of Hylete shorts on the side. Come on people. Legally, you are adults. Give others a hand in putting their stuff away as well.

Ring the Bell:

We have a bell that hangs from the wall. Ring it when you hit a PR or hit a “first”. Celebrate the win. Good attention is good. Miley Cyrus attention is bad. Really bad. No twerking.

Stretch/Roll/Cool Down:

You just spent 20 – 40 minutes tearing muscle fibers, driving your heart rate through the roof, and all in all, beating the total hell out of your yourself. Take five to ten minutes and cool down. Get a roller and hit the quads and upper back. Grab a band and hit the lats, chest, shoulders, hamstrings and calves. Hips are probably a good idea as well. Water or coconut water works wonders.

Drink the Kool-Aid:

Go all in. Give 100% if you expect to get 100% in return. That does not mean you have to drop $150 on strength shoes or buy out Lululemon before your first class, however it does mean you should become a student of the game. Countless websites offer a veritable cornucopia of free information about CrossFit and everything that goes into it. Spend fifteen to thirty minutes a day reading about CrossFit and all of the fun stuff that goes with it like Trigger Point, Paleo, Zone, Olympic LIfting, etc. and of course, reading CrossFit Rook.

Hit it hard today.

CrossFit Rook

CrossFit Dictionary

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If your friends CrossFit, you’ll know it because it’s all they ever talk about! The dictionary below should be useful to those CrossFit or who have friends who CrossFit and have io idea what their friends are talking about. Also good if you need a laugh!

21-15-9: favorite rep scheme for many of the Metcons. 45 reps in total, however it feels more like 450. Always starts out with: “That doesn’t look too bad.”

400M: Stupid, incessantly annoying runs, usually around a building. Best completed while inhaling diesel fumes, or dodging traffic.

6am’ers: Cheery, coffeeholic members who only show up at 6:00am. May be treated as Noobs at weekend classes or clinics, simply because other members do not know they exist. If one shows up at an afternoon class, look out. The world may end. Same can be said if an afternoon regular shows up at a 600am class.

Airdyne/Assault Bike: Ungood all around. Part stationary bike, part punching drills, all nasty. You are doing it right if the sweat dripping off your nose is levitated by the fan spinning. Really doing it right if the sweat comes back at you!

Burpee: Banned by the Geneva Convention in 1899 as unfair punishment. Adored by CrossFit instructors worldwide. Originally named the Squat Thrust by gym coaches. Burpee sounded more friendly. Sadly, we were duped. Squat down, kick your legs back, do a push up, bring your feet to your hands, jump in the air, clap your hands over your head. Repeat. Vomit. Could be used as punishment for politicians who cannot come to an agreement. Burpees until they resolve all outstanding issues.

Cleans: Explosive Olympic lift where you take the bar from the floor to your shoulders by jumping and pulling yourself under the bar. Otherwise known as a reverse curl. Requires lots of practice and should be practiced with a dowel or empty barbel every day.
Tutorial

Double Unders: Fap, ow. Fap, shoot. Fap, Damnit! Fap, how many singles do I sub? The rope passes under your feet twice instead of once. Easier for smaller lighter people. The rest of us look like our legs have been whipped.
Tutorial

Ewwww: Common retort when the WOD is a mix of Turkish Get Ups, Bulgarian Split Squats, Box Jumps, and Burpees

Fem-Bot: Usually starts out with a thought: “She’s cute, I’ll work out next to her.” Turns into “She has more weight on her bar, she’s moving faster, and is completely crushing me. I need to leave, now.” Worst outcome is she’s the trainer. More weight will miraculously appear on your bar if left unattended. She wants to make you better. Your ability to survive the WOD is inconsequential.

Goals: Can’t hit something if you don’t know what it is. Track your progress and set goals for thirty days out. Look at the WOD before you go in and have a plan of the weight you will use along with any substitutions. Talk to the trainer and ask if they agree.

Hand Stand Push Ups: It starts with getting upside down and the putting your feet against the wall. Then lower your head to the floor and push yourself up. Good times. You will fall. Everyone does. HSPU is the warning, I mean abbreviation.
Progression Tutorial

Innov-8’s: Minimalist running shoe favored by CrossFitters because of the simple design and low heel height. Surprisingly more expensive than regular sneakers even though they have less material. Cool color combinations, which is handy because you’ll have several pair. Addict.

Jerk: Pushing the barbels over head by dropping under the bar and straightening you arms and engaging your shoulders. I have been accused of completing a push press instead of a jerk. Obviously they can’t see the difference.
Tutorial

Kipping: Pretty much the foundation of the majority of lifts and movements we complete. Explosive hip drive movement. Takes a lot of practice to do it correctly. More commonly used with pull ups. Progression Tutorial

L-sits: Horrible. No idea who came up with them. Incredible for strong arms, shoulders, and core. Starts on the floor with PVC pipe where you kick your legs out in front holding them parallel to the floor. Torso is perpendicular to the floor. Pros do it on the rings. Example

Metcon: We lift weights to get stronger. We lift weights faster for cardio. Short for metabolic conditioning. High intensity cycle consisting of lifts and either running, rowing, or body weight exercises like pull ups, HSPU, etc. My personal favorite is Diane. 21-15-9 225 dead lifts and HSPU. You won’t die. You’ll just feel like it.

Nanos: Brought to us by Reebok. Direct competition for the Innov-8’s. Favored by CrossFitters For the low height and versatility. Favored by Reebok because of the price. Lots of cool colors and they are customizable if you want to wait two to three months.

Omergawdddd: Common response when someone tries a heavier than normal weight for a dead lift or clean. Also common response when asked “How was the WOD?”

PR: Personal record. We celebrate them all. Could be for the fastest 400 meter, heaviest triple, getting a double under or a rope climb. If the box doesn’t have a PR bell or a board dedicated to track these, find a new box.

Quit: No meaning because it doesn’t exist. Similar to unicorns and Sasquatch. There is no quit.

Rx: Completed as prescribed. Followed the weights and movements with zero substitutions. You graduated.

Sweat Angel: Think snow angel minus the snow. The WOD is over and you crushed it. Assume the position. Flat on your back on the floor, arms and legs sprawled out like a starfish. Eventually the walls will stop shaking. Take a picture and post on Facebook. You accomplished more in an hour than most will do all day.

Turkish Get Ups: Nobody likes these. Evil drill which consists of holding a weight overhead while standing up from the floor and them laying back down. Tutorial

Uberfit: Clothing company which one day may be as big as Under Armour. Clothing for athletes designed by one of our own! You Need A New Shirt

Victory: You did it! Celebrate every win. Ring the bell and track it in the log book.

WTF?: Common thought when the WOD doesn’t make sense or the trainer has an 800 meter run in the warmup.

X-out: What we do to goals. Hit the goal. Cross out the goal. Add a new goal.

Yowsa: Prescribed response when a fellow CrossFitter hits a new PR or when you hit one. It is a team sport. Celebrate everybody’s wins. Best way to cool down? Cheering for the people who aren’t done yet!

Zercher Carry: Carrying a significant amount of weight by making an L with your arms. The barbell or yoke rests in the crook of your arms. Usually carried for 50 to 100 feet.
Example

Links to other CrossFit dictionary’s.

CrossFit Active Performance

Arenal Fitness

CrossFit Manassas

Thank you for reading and have a great day.