Category Archives: Daily Rant

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First Thirty Days of Focused…ish…. Nutrition Plan

It is amazing how time flies. It is hard for me to believe we are already through the first week of August. Summer is just about over. Believe me, I am not wishing it away. Autumn is my favorite time of year. Fires, Cocktails, Football,  and hooded sweatshirts. Summer is my second favorite time. We have not gotten to the beach once and we do need to fix that, quickly. We have been on the water a few times in the kayaks and Berger took her maiden voyage. She did well. She was very focused on a paddle boarder behind her and Kylie…not sure why.

It has been seven months since I last posted. Way too long. Things have been going well this year, however I have not been focused on hitting my goals. Life gets in the way. Things happen. We all make choices and push what needs to be done at that time to the top. Sadly I think many of us put ourselves last. Then we find ourselves kind of pissed that we are not achieving the things that six months ago were important to us. And of course, there is also the reality of New Years’ resolutions…..that are the same year after year.

For those of you who know me, you know that I lost my Dad the end of April. Losing a parent seems to change the view of one’s own mortality. It is an assault on it actually. When I was little I thought he was the strongest guy in the world, able to do anything. I watched him age and his physical capabilities diminish. He was hard on his body and in the end his body just gave up. It was done.

So, in part because of that, and because it just beyond time, I spoke with a fellow CultFitter and he recommended a nutritionist he had worked with previously. So I contacted her and we were off. I had to get a Resting Metabolic Rate test and a VO2 max test. The first was not hard, just took twice as much time as it was supposed to. Based on those readings I burn about 2500 calories a day just living. The VO2 max test was a giant PITA. It was on a treadmill and everyone who reads this blog knows how much I looooooove running. So imagine me on a treadmill with basically a fighter pilot mask on, a heart rate monitor around my chest, and a clippy thing on my finger. Quite the sight. I hoped that i did not trip and take out the whole thing.

The numbers came back no differently than I expected. Average/Slightly above average for a person of my age and dimensions. I met with the nutritionist via phone and went over all pertinent information. She put together a meal plan and sent it to me. Using MyFitnessPal is a huge win. It was as one would expect. Reduced calorie, high protein, moderate fat, and low carb. I am at 130 grams per day, which is not bad. Just have to make each one count.

I have enjoyed it and as the title indicates, have been committed…mostly. There was one night that was just silly. I am down 21 pounds in a little over a month. It is a steady clip of 3-5 pounds per week. CrossFit five times per week, 2 runs a week, and yoga once. I do not always get both runs, in however I’ll make it longer if I only get one run in.  The big difference on this one is that I followed exactly what I told, and it is paying off much better. Funny how that works, huh? Kind of like that thing, when you finally do what your Coach told you to do, and shocker, it works.

The eating has been easy to follow. 5-6 meals per day. I like having a plan for the week as it makes it easier to prepare and not worry about it during the day. Sunday is meal prep day. I won’t bore you all with a picture of a counter covered with food and individual prepped meals. Do I miss eating pizza? Do I miss desert? Do I miss cocktailing? Absofreakinloutely! She suggested two drinks on Saturday night. I really don’t have that switch, so i cut it out for a few weeks. The stories aren’t quite as funny, however the mornings are much more fun.

It has been a very good experience thus far and am looking forward to it continuing. Drink a few for me folks. Have a great week. Lift something heavy even if it is not in the WOD.

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Well those were fun!


I had commented last week about how August had not been as warm as we are used too. The weather gods heard my snide remark and provided a retort. Their retort was a giant middle finger of humidity. Walking out the front door at 5:15am into an atmosphere of swamp air. Good times.

Heat

MON-FITNESS

10 Rounds

9 Wall Balls s(30/20) f (20/14)

6 Burpees to 6″ Target

3 Clean and Jerks s(185/125) f(135/95)

***25 minute cap***

Summary: Doesn’t look bad, right? Wrong. I switched out med balls because the first one got so covered in sweat I couldn’t catch it. Literally slipped through my hands. Ever have to switch spots on the floor for burpees because it was so slippery? I did. Looked like someone sprayed the floor with a hose. It’s not right. I should be studied. It’s improbably for so much sweat to be generated.  Finished it in 24 and change. The burpees truly were the hardest part. Did 135 weight for C&J’s. Probably could have done 155 instead. 185 would have been too much. It’s not the jerk, which for me is a strict press because I refuse to listen to coaches, it’s the clean, or in my case, the reverse curl, because again, I refuse…you know how that ends.

balls

TUES-FITNESS

“HELEN”
3 Rounds for time:
Run 400m
21 KB Swings (1.5/1pd)
12 Pullups

Summary: Any of our fellow cultfit followers immediately grimaced when they saw the name. She’s a bitch. I felt like I was running through pancake batter. I’m not built for speed. It was more trudging than sprinting. Did ring rows instead of pull ups. KB swings and RR were all unbroken. They aren’t the hard part. It’s the stupid running. Why run when you can deadlift? That’s my motto. Checked the lovely performance history tab in Wodify, and the worst time. Ever. Still a hell of a workout. Also did early birds which is a WOD before the WOD, and Gabe was coaching so the warm up was aggressive. There we go. All rationalized out.

helen

 

WED-FITNESS
Close Grip Bench Press
3-3-3-3-3
+
7 Min AMRAP
10 Pushups s(ring pushups)
20 Air Squats

Summary:

Bench press?!?!? Yes. Almost as good as deadlift day. Almost. Also did early birds this morning which was dips and push ups, I think. Felt pretty good. Jumped from 225 to 255 which was probably to aggressive. Got two and the third required some curling from the spotter. It happens. All in all I was happy with it.  The burner afterwards was fun. Again with the sweating. Did I mention it was hot this week?

FRI-FITNESS

Every 2 minutes for 20 minutes complete:

25 Double Unders/75 Singles

1 clean

***add weight every 2 sets starting at 60% of 1RM. Find a new 1RM***

Summary:

Cleans and I have had an unfriendly relationship for the past couple of years. Logically I should be able to clean 275 without much issue. Front squat is 300, deadlift is 455. Really shouldn’t be a problem here. Instead i have been stuck at 195 for two years or so. Finally got 200 Friday morning which felt pretty good. Attempted and failed 205 several times. I should have recorded the lifts. I was pulling it plenty high. Probably snatch height for most people, who you know….drop under the bar instead of what I do, which is reverse curl it to my neck. Also learned that I really like RX jump ropes. All of my singles were unbroken. The rope was very smooth. Definitely purchasing one.

It Never Happens LIke This!

 It Never Happens LIke This!

Three shirts bit the dust this week. You know it’s time to chuck it when you offend yourself. I apologize to those at City Dock Coffee Friday morning. Yeah, my bad. There isn’t enough Febreze to fix that one. Had to go. Just shy of a decade. Again, I am sorry. Smelled like Victory! And remember, we ….

wod-for-beer

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The Open is Closed.

15.5
 15.5 We all saw it coming. We knew it would be thrusters, and a lot of them, and guess what. Thrusters. Thruck Fusters.  It could be worse. No burpees!!! I  was prepared as I could possibly be. Bullet Proof coffee in the morning.  Followed by a little BSN NO-Xplode…happy hour!  Last night’s IPA’s will have absolutely no effect whatsoever.

15.5 thruster

Going in I was thinking it wouldn’t be bad. I could break up the thrusters in halves since it’s 95lbs,  not super heavy, just a lot of legs. Rowing isn’t bad, just hard pulls to get a calorie a stroke. No worries! Then I watched the 900am class suffer through. I couldn’t leave. People had already seen me. A quick chat with someone who had completed it, and was finally fully functioning, resulted a in a rethink. Cut the thrusters in thirds.

27 cals went quicker than I thought it would. Set of 9. rest. Set of 9. rest. Set of 9. Back on the rower. 21 cals. Set of 7. Set of 7. Set of…whumph. What just happened! I can’t breathe and my legs don’t want to push back up. Finished the last set and then started 15 and that’s when the fun began. Coach Christa the Fembot in my ear, “you won’t catch your breath, just GO!”. “Back on the bar”. I calculated it would take me between 12 and 15 minutes to finish and it turned out to be 14:43. It’s not a matter of strength, it was a matter of wind. I was chasing something I couldn’t catch. My breath. Need to fix that.

Kicked

Two Natty Boh’s, and a Progenex shake and I was back to normal. I usually opt to go in the second round because, well nobody wants to go first, and I want to get it over with and it provides the opportunity to cheer on those who are still going through it. That’s they key with CrossFit. Something the other gyms won’t get. It’s the community. It’s the support and friendships. After that WOD, there was a potluck happy hour. As you can imagine, carb city. Krispy Kreme, pasta salads, chips,..you name it.

This year’s Open was by far my favorite. The scaled WOD’s were challenging however very doable. 15.4 was my favorite. Hit 100 reps. I happen to like push press and that helped significantly. 15.5 was the most difficult, however I liked it and hope it finds it’s way into the 12Labours rotation. You know it’s a good when you are washing down two Aleve with a a Manhattan a few hours after the WOD. Of course, looking forward to the 12Labours Team heading to Regionals, and then back to the Games. We expect great things!

12Labours

3, 2, 1….

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Being Humbled….

Kicked

 Two items: Steelers got humbled last night in a big way. So much for that streak and for the season. I thought 8-8 would be a pipe dream however they turned it around and won the division. At least we have that….Let’s Go New England. I hope Tom Brady has a career game. Take a picture. Probably the last time you’ll read that on this blog.

 

Second item. I got my tail handed to me yesterday.  WOD was as follows:

SPORT

In Teams of 2 with a Running Clock:

  • 30 – 20 – 10
  • AB for Cals (Assault Bike)
  • Pushups s(ring) f(regular)
  • 30 – 20 – 10
  • Power Snatch (115/75)
  • Toes to Bar
  • 30 – 20 – 10
  • Thrusters (115/75)
  • 200m Run (both partners run the 200m)

Our time was 33:33. Quite possibly one of the most challenging WOD’s I have completed. It didn’t seem bad on the board, however that was a huge mistake.

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We got through the cals on the AB and push-ups pretty quickly. Things turned to molasses when we hit the snatches and T2B. Those two movements together are crushers. Then it was game on with the Thrusters which also were challenging. Snatches and Thrusters we grouped in sets of 3-5. That was the most handleable way to get through the reps.

Then of course the next best thing to do was another WOD. We had an open house and we had two friends come in so it was game on again. A couple of 5 minute AMRPAP’s with push ups, KB swings, more assault bikes, rowing,…and of course burpees. Buck Furpees.

 

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Just finished breakfast and I have two crockpots going for foods this week. Heading out to yoga so I can get fixed. Pretty nice little Sunday. Maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond if we have time. Certainly won’t be watching football.

 

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Two Weeks In….

 

Whole-Life-Challenge-1

 

No beer. No ice cream. Did i say no beer??? Two weeks in for the latest round of Whole Life Challenge. It’s been very good so far. The Paleo flu has come and gone. Only six more weeks to go. Would I want to do it long term? Probably not, however it’s good to do it a few times a year for a tune up. I have set a few PR’s which is always good. Strength stuff which I’ll take any day of the week. Let’s not forget, why run when you can dead lift and CrossFit isn’t supposed to be track.

How do you know you are eating Paleo?

  • Dishwasher gets run twice a day, except on Sundays when it’s maybe three times
  • Two crockpots going at the same time is not strange
  • The lunchbox is significantly larger
  • paleOMG is your new favorite read
  • you’d kill for some sugar…..

One of the wonderful side effects of sober fridays and saturdays, is productive saturdays and sundays. Who else is up at five am on the weekends? This is probably my favorite time of year so it works out well because I am up and outside enjoying the fall while everyone else is in bed sleeping. It’s a beautiful world early in the morning.

What is Paleo? The chart below pretty much sums it up.

Paleo-Diet-Flowchart2-e1345400029955

 

 

This past Week’s WOD’s:

MON-FITNESS

  • Leader of the Pack WOD 1:
  • 10 Min AMRAP
  • Run 600m
  • 20 Hand Release Pushups
  • in time remaining get as far as you can in the following ladder:
  • 2 Power Cleans (115/75)
  • 20 Double Unders
  • 4 Power Cleans
  • 20 Double Unders or 60 singles
  • made it through eight cleans, i think i went up to 135 instead, or maybe 155.

TUES-FITNESS

  • Back Squat 10-10-10 ***last set should be 5-10 lbs heavier than Sept 8th
  • Worked up to 275 for 10 which was a 20 lb PR

WED-SPORT

  • 10 Rounds for time Partner WOD –
  • 3 Stone to Shoulder (145/95)
  • 6 Push Jerks (155/105)
  • 9 Pull ups
  • 12 Cals on Rower
  • Partner 1 goes through ENTIRE round, then tags off to partner 2. 10 Rounds total between the 2 people.
  • This was Kylie and I and we did well. Everything was Rx, except those stupid freakin’ pull ups

Thursday was running and wall balls, so it was a strategic rest day. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

FRI-SPORT

  • 1RM Clean and Jerk ***take time to go over split jerk technique***
  • 15 lb PR, hit 205
  • Poor coach Rebs…to me a push jerk is a press, or a push press…..not ever a jerk

Saturday and Sunday are running days and running errands days. Work has been busy so this gives me two days to catch up on some stuff.

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Summer is Over…..

Goodbye Summer

 

Seems like the Summer flew by faster than usual. Actually, the past year has flown by faster than usual. Fall is here which means football, bonfires, pumpkins, and cooler weather. We just finished our summer vacation, which was a little later than normal, however it was a blast. There were several boxes close by, however we decided to take the whole week off and rest up. Definitely looking forward to getting back to the grind and getting back in a routine. For those who are interested, Charleston South Carolina is a great area to visit. The foodie scene blows Baltimore out of the water. Beach is 20 minutes away. Golf courses galore. And of course there is a plethora of historical stuff if you are into that as well. All of the Westbrook brews were excellent.

Charleston Food

Beer

 

August was a great month with four PR’s. Clean, Front Squat, Back Squat, and Dead Lift.  I’ll take those any day of the week. So what did I learn over the past few months? Still having issues doing the WOD’s Rx, and the reason is because of the inability to complete the BW exercises like Pull UPs, HSPU, DU’s, etc. Really thought my recent purchases of Nano 4.0’s, Junk headbands, and Progenex would have changed all that. I was wrong. Obviously, I’m joking. I don’t like those movements, I don’t practice those movements, and have gotten very good at scaling those movements. I can rip off 100 singles without missing a beat. Ring rows are no problem. I scaled and got great at scaling. Whoops. So how do we combat this issue? Easy, buy more gear. No, of course not.

Yep. Time for a detox. the past six to eight months have been filled with great food and craft brews. These do not match well with performing well however it is what it is and that’s that. We signed up for the Whole Life Challenge which is always a good way to recharge and get back on track. It’s also about personal accountability, planning, dedication, and not bargaining with yourself. So much easier to put in a blog than to actually practice. If it was easy there wouldn’t be a billion dollar quick fix weight loss industry. Write that down. Watching the Steelers now, and if they keep this up, sobriety will be a pipe dream.

Dead Lift

Practice makes perfect. Or in the world of CrossFit, bloody shins, whip marked legs, torn hands, and bruised egos. Remember, we pay good money for this stuff! You can’t dead lift your way out of a poor diet. Trust me, I’ve tried. Cardio is simply dead lifting faster so that is automatically ruled out. Just need to practice more, focus on the nutrition and mobility. Looking forward to a great September.

 

 

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The Day Of….

Great googley moogley. That was fun! 12Labours WOD is as follows:

  • 400 meter med ball run 20/14
  • 9 stone to shoulder 145/115
  • 400 meter sand bag run
  • 24 power cleans 135/95
  • 400 meter run
  • 5 rope climbs (15 ring rows)
  • 30 yard prowler push 255/155
  • 12 stone squats 115/95
  • 500 meter row
  • three sets 3 muscle ups, 3 hspu or three sets 3 ring rows/pull ups, 3 hand release push ups, 3 dips
  • 40 cal assault bike
  • 3 tire flips 450/350

All for joyous time. It was announced it shouldn’t really take more than thirty minutes. I beat that by thirty seconds, scaled. Subbed out KB squats for stone squats. Bad timing. Lots of running and everyone who reads this blog knows how much I LOVE running, and by love i mean hate however it is a necessary evil. Surprisingly the cleans were tougher than I thought they would be. Wound up doing four sets of six. Probably should have gone heavier on the Stone to shoulder. Did 115 for some reason. First rep was a ball slam. Basically caught it about two inches off the ground after the bounce and hauled it up.

Definitely a challenging WOD and a well run event. The cherry on top was it raised about two k, cha ching, for the coaches. Nice work everyone. Thank you Rusty for putting it together and for 12Labours BWI to host the event. It was awesome to see everyone giving 110 percent and having a good time.

Off to Jailbreak who I hear brews beer, and serves beer…which is handy, because I like to drink beer, in particular after that wonderful morning WOD.

 

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Thoughts Going Through the Mind of a CrossFitter

images

CrossFitters are goofy. Our gym dues are the equivalent of a car payment and we’ll tell you how Paleo we are while we are pounding our third beer and eyeing up a bottle for a shot. We’ll drop forty bucks on a T-shirt which is only meant to be worn working out, and we’ll rip it off eighteen seconds into a thirty minute AMRAP.

It would be nice to tell you that the only thing we think about during a WOD is being focused on proper form, doing the movements correctly, and listening ever intently to the wonderful tips and coaching provided by our trainers. That would be a lie. This is a list of thoughts that go through my mind, as well as additives from extensive interviews of other CrossFitters. Three actually. While we were having lunch at Five Guys after dropping some serious coin at the dollar over liquor store sale.

The WOD doesn’t look that bad:

They rarely do! That’s the trick. People wouldn’t come to class if the WOD looked ridiculous. Sure, some you know will straight up suck, like three rounds of 500M row, 21 burpees, and 400M run. I don’t know who came up with that one, you are evil. The 20 minute AMRAP of farmers carry, ring rows, GHD sit ups, and wall runs did not look bad. However it was. Damn. Fooled me again.

I am going to smoke this WOD:

Similar to the previous thought. Usually the response when it is what appears to be a short AMRAP. The truth is we come out of the gate like a thundercat and blow the doors off the first round and then wonder why we can’t breathe. Save a little in the tank for the remaining rounds. You can rest when it is over, however you have to get through it all for it to be over.

Get off my rower…or that’s my spot:

We are territorial and most of us are superstitious. We have the shorts that make us run faster, well maybe some people do. All of mine are like running through mashed potatoes in snow shoes. We all have a “spot” in the gym where we are stronger, faster, and perform our absolute best. Stay out of our spot….please.

WTF, What the….?:

Usually the response when the coach puts 800 meter med ball runs in the warm up. No logical reason for those to be included. Can also occur when somebody puts 5 rounds of 50 walking lunges in a WOD. You know who you are. Hang your head low…very low.

What the….?

Didn’t we just do this…?:

We all like to think those in charge of the programming spend hours meticulously going through past WOD’s and thinking up new ways of torturing us, however they are people with other obligations and once in a while we do repeat WOD’s, which aren’t the hero or the named girls. It happens. Get over it. Better have a better score than last time or it’s off to Jazzercise.

I can do this Rx (Prescribed for you non cult followers):

21-15-9 of 225lb. Dead lifts and pull ups and your max dead lift is 230lbs. Probably not a good idea. Go for it! Stud.

Those aren’t real…

Three pood Kettle bells, yes they are and they are awesome! Burpee box jump over pull ups! Yes, they are real and they are not awesome. What did you think I meant?

That is a nice Snatch:

Some people can catch it low and the rest of us rely on the tried and true reverse curl to the forehead followed up with a shoulder press. What? It’s overhead. Thinking about this lift will only make it worse. Lift the barbell, while keeping your back at the same angle, open your hips, while shrugging  and getting bar high enough for you to jump under the bar. How do you jump low? Don’t know. I stick with reverse curls and my max weight hasn’t moved in over a year. That sucks, time for a beer.

Somebody went to Lulu:

Decked out from head to toe, including the headbands. I hear their clothes are great. They don’t make it in my size. Maybe I could buy two and sew them together? I have only heard good things so have at it! They are a great company and have great messaging.

Holy crap, I want those shoes:

I am a shoe whore and proud of it. Currently I have enough shoes to fill a closet however I am eyeing up the Reebok Lifters because obviously they would make me stronger….and as it turns out I got them for Christmas. Time for some more shoes. Maybe a pair of the Nano Speed….yeah, that’s the ticket. Those will help.

What is that smell?…Shoot it’s me.

CrossFit = SWEAT. Lots and lots of sweat. Sweat = Stink. Yep, you stink. All the moisture wicking fabric in the world won’t do a damn thing. I make Under Armour a liar every damn day. It looks like I jumped in a pool with my clothes on. I have a beach towel in my Jeep to sit on during the ride home. I may have to change seat belts….it’s that bad.

Still some dry tank top….

When will this be over…

It will be over when you finish. NO REST! Get going already. You won’t die. Biologically proven you’ll pass out first. You can’t catch your breath so don’t stop. Just keep moving forward.

Doesn’t everybody want a piece of this action? Sounds like fun, right? Tell your friends. The cult always needs new members. It’s like a human ponzi scheme. You can’t leave until you bring forth your replacement!

Have a great weekend!

CrossFitRook

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What Happened to August? What Happened to Summer?

20130902-080913.jpg

Hey, what happened to August? It was the first and then it was Labor Day in the blink of an eye! What gives? I haven’t written a post in over a month which is odd. Too busy sucking up the last drop of Summer…….Shandy. It was a great Summer and I am sorry to see it come to an end. Cookouts, pool party’s, trips to the beach. Mostly done for another year. The good news is Autumn is upon us. Football, brats, and cooler temps! Definitely my favorite season.

August was a good month. Definitely learned a lot and made some progress.

100 Day Burpee Challenge:
“>20130902-080015.jpg

What a wonderful challenge. Day one, one burpee. Day two, two burpees and on and on it goes. Miss a day? The next day you do those as well. Miss day 25? Good news is you have 51 to complete the following day. Kylie and I are on day 33. Doubtful I will make 100 days however I will go as far as I can. Definitely learned about pacing and foot placement. It’s better to have your feet under your hips when coming up. Wide feet equal a sore lower back.

I have had wrist issues so I have been taping my wrists. Some argue it is a little overboard. They are welcome to their opinion. I like tape and use plenty of it. I have noticed my wrists feel better so it’s working. I have also focused on putting my weight on my fingers instead of entirely on he heel of my hand.

CrossFit Total: I finished at 940 which is about ten to fifteen pounds less than last time. Squat was off because my knee was off. It feels better since I have been back in rehab and following the advice of well educated and trained medical professionals. Interesting how that happened. According to my Mom I am not stubborn, I am obstinate. I think I’m stubborn and don’t understand what she means. September will be dedicated to getting back to 100%.

Hotshots 19 WOD: https://hotshots19.crossfit.com/

CROSSFIT’S MEMORIAL WOD
Show your support by attending the memorial event in Prescott, or host the workout locally on August 31st and donate online.

AUG

31
“Hotshots 19”

Six rounds for time of:
30 Squats
135 pound Power clean, 19 reps
7 Strict Pull-ups
Run 400 meters

This is still fresh in my mind since we just completed it less than 48 hours ago. Quite possibly the toughest WOD I have attempted. Do not under estimate this beast. It may not look daunting on the white board…..you are wrong. Six rounds of “am i done yet?” Do not go towards the light. You won’t die, you’ll pass out first.

One of the trainers pointed out that I was bouncing the bar off my upper thigh during the clean, which I refer to as a reverse curl. This is not the first time she has told me this, nor is it the second or third time. We should consider it a recurring theme. So, instead of continuing to do it my way, incorrectly, I took her advice and shrugged more, and what do you know? Again, taking advice from a well trained professional paid off big dividends. Interesting how that happened. Refer to the previous paragraph referencing stubbornness.

You can get through anything and you should listen to your trainers. They know what they are doing. Unless they have 800 meter med ball runs in the warm up. Obviously they are delirious and require medical attention.

Whole Life Challenge: http://www.wholelifechallenge.com

We are getting ready for our third run. We are currently 100% Paleo 80% of the time so it won’t be a big change for us. It really only results in a reduction of weekend beverages which is fine. We are looking forward to it. We always find some great new recipes and always come out feeling better and performing better at the end. We’ll be on vacation for one of the weeks which means we’ll have to stockpile points!

Selected for Athletes of the Month: http://crossfitbwi.com/2013/08/30/augsept-athletes-of-the-month-robert-and-kylie-taylor/

This was a huge honor for Kylie and I. CrossFit has had a significant impact on our lives and we can’t imagine not being a part of it in the future. It is a team sport and we have a great team at CrossFit BWI and CrossFit Syndicate.

Heading out to the box shortly to have some quality time with Cindy. I hate Cindy. Just kidding, I love Cindy.

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Email from a Friend After you Join CrossFit

Hey, it’s been a while. Seriously I don’t even know if you’ll have time to read this email since you practically live at the CrossFit gym now. Oh, sorry it’s a box. What gives? We haven’t seen you in forever. Every time we talk to you it’s CrossFit this and CrossFit that. Either it’s some workout at midnight, which is weird, or some weekend competition. Next thing it’s a cookout or a happy hour.

We don’t even understand half the stuff posted on your Facebook page. What the hell do you mean you PR’d and did something Rx? And now your up at five am posting stuff to boot! You used to be a night owl. Are you ok? Taking pictures of your food or posting pictures of empty plates with the caption “time”? Huh? Time for what? Chipotle three times a week. Thanks for checking in every time. Trust me, we know where to find you!

Please explain to me your new-found love for bacon? Six months ago you wouldn’t have touched the stuff, now you can’t wait to find something new to wrap in bacon. Dates, seriously? Bacon wrapped dates!?!? Have at it bro. All you.

People have been saying its a cult. Is it? Please don’t tell me there is a leader in a white robe talking about the end and only his or her disciples will make it! I checked it out online and it looks hard as hell and people have gotten hurt. This rhabdo stuff is no joke.

Ok, time to come clean. We want in. Your box looks ten times more fun than our globo gym and the members, well, God bless Facebook pictures. Damn! You are having way more fun than us and look a hell of a lot stronger than when we were doing preacher curls. Are you still doing those? You have to be. Or did you switch to cable curls? Anyway, how can we join? Is there a pizza night or something?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks