Tag Archives: weight training

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Thoughts Going Through the Mind of a CrossFitter

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CrossFitters are goofy. Our gym dues are the equivalent of a car payment and we’ll tell you how Paleo we are while we are pounding our third beer and eyeing up a bottle for a shot. We’ll drop forty bucks on a T-shirt which is only meant to be worn working out, and we’ll rip it off eighteen seconds into a thirty minute AMRAP.

It would be nice to tell you that the only thing we think about during a WOD is being focused on proper form, doing the movements correctly, and listening ever intently to the wonderful tips and coaching provided by our trainers. That would be a lie. This is a list of thoughts that go through my mind, as well as additives from extensive interviews of other CrossFitters. Three actually. While we were having lunch at Five Guys after dropping some serious coin at the dollar over liquor store sale.

The WOD doesn’t look that bad:

They rarely do! That’s the trick. People wouldn’t come to class if the WOD looked ridiculous. Sure, some you know will straight up suck, like three rounds of 500M row, 21 burpees, and 400M run. I don’t know who came up with that one, you are evil. The 20 minute AMRAP of farmers carry, ring rows, GHD sit ups, and wall runs did not look bad. However it was. Damn. Fooled me again.

I am going to smoke this WOD:

Similar to the previous thought. Usually the response when it is what appears to be a short AMRAP. The truth is we come out of the gate like a thundercat and blow the doors off the first round and then wonder why we can’t breathe. Save a little in the tank for the remaining rounds. You can rest when it is over, however you have to get through it all for it to be over.

Get off my rower…or that’s my spot:

We are territorial and most of us are superstitious. We have the shorts that make us run faster, well maybe some people do. All of mine are like running through mashed potatoes in snow shoes. We all have a “spot” in the gym where we are stronger, faster, and perform our absolute best. Stay out of our spot….please.

WTF, What the….?:

Usually the response when the coach puts 800 meter med ball runs in the warm up. No logical reason for those to be included. Can also occur when somebody puts 5 rounds of 50 walking lunges in a WOD. You know who you are. Hang your head low…very low.

What the….?

Didn’t we just do this…?:

We all like to think those in charge of the programming spend hours meticulously going through past WOD’s and thinking up new ways of torturing us, however they are people with other obligations and once in a while we do repeat WOD’s, which aren’t the hero or the named girls. It happens. Get over it. Better have a better score than last time or it’s off to Jazzercise.

I can do this Rx (Prescribed for you non cult followers):

21-15-9 of 225lb. Dead lifts and pull ups and your max dead lift is 230lbs. Probably not a good idea. Go for it! Stud.

Those aren’t real…

Three pood Kettle bells, yes they are and they are awesome! Burpee box jump over pull ups! Yes, they are real and they are not awesome. What did you think I meant?

That is a nice Snatch:

Some people can catch it low and the rest of us rely on the tried and true reverse curl to the forehead followed up with a shoulder press. What? It’s overhead. Thinking about this lift will only make it worse. Lift the barbell, while keeping your back at the same angle, open your hips, while shrugging  and getting bar high enough for you to jump under the bar. How do you jump low? Don’t know. I stick with reverse curls and my max weight hasn’t moved in over a year. That sucks, time for a beer.

Somebody went to Lulu:

Decked out from head to toe, including the headbands. I hear their clothes are great. They don’t make it in my size. Maybe I could buy two and sew them together? I have only heard good things so have at it! They are a great company and have great messaging.

Holy crap, I want those shoes:

I am a shoe whore and proud of it. Currently I have enough shoes to fill a closet however I am eyeing up the Reebok Lifters because obviously they would make me stronger….and as it turns out I got them for Christmas. Time for some more shoes. Maybe a pair of the Nano Speed….yeah, that’s the ticket. Those will help.

What is that smell?…Shoot it’s me.

CrossFit = SWEAT. Lots and lots of sweat. Sweat = Stink. Yep, you stink. All the moisture wicking fabric in the world won’t do a damn thing. I make Under Armour a liar every damn day. It looks like I jumped in a pool with my clothes on. I have a beach towel in my Jeep to sit on during the ride home. I may have to change seat belts….it’s that bad.

Still some dry tank top….

When will this be over…

It will be over when you finish. NO REST! Get going already. You won’t die. Biologically proven you’ll pass out first. You can’t catch your breath so don’t stop. Just keep moving forward.

Doesn’t everybody want a piece of this action? Sounds like fun, right? Tell your friends. The cult always needs new members. It’s like a human ponzi scheme. You can’t leave until you bring forth your replacement!

Have a great weekend!

CrossFitRook

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You Might be Addicted to CrossFit

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CrossFit is addictive for several reasons, primarily because members see results, it’s fun, and it’s kind of counter culture. We do stuff most people don’t want to try because they have been programmed to believe the only way to get in shape is by eating 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day, doing sixty minutes of cardio on a stair master and doing high reps with light weight. It is possible to get addicted and if you fit any of the scenarios below, welcome to the club.

“This one time at CrossFit.” It’s all you ever talk about for starters!

Dropping $65.00 on a pair of shorts in which you will only sweat is no big deal. “Look! they have green too!”

Nanos, Innov-8’s, Romaleos, Chucks. You have at least one pair of each, probably two, because they were on “sale”. There is no more room on the floor in your closet.

You can’t walk without wincing, your shoulders are pulled to your ears, can’t unclinch your hands, however you find out tomorrow’s WOD is Fran. Of course you are going. It’s only your eighth day in a row. You’ll rest when you are dead.

Bank statement reads Reebok e-commerce, Zappos, Progenex, Lulu-lemon, Main Street butcher, and Juan’s house of tequila……because its Paleo!

Hear the name Eva and you don’t think of Mendes or Longoria, sadly. Your face contorts while contemplating a 2.5 mile run and 150 pull ups and KB swings.

There is more than one picture of you performing a HSPU or pistols somewhere other than the box, like a bar. Because you are hardcore and nothing brings out hardcore like a happy hour gone awry. This is more out of jealousy because I can’t do either.

Your charm bracelet has a barbell, a dumbbell, a Kettlebell, a tire, Rx, and a steak.

You’ve had to buy a bigger lunch box……more than once.

To everyone else Memorial Day sleeping in, pool time, and BBQ’s. You’ve got a date with Murph and it better not last more than 45 minutes. If it goes over an hour…..don’t think about that!

You’ve checked Community by-laws and discovered there is no specific language regarding tire flips. GAME ON! Maybe they’ll let you store them in the pool house!

You’ve been invited by your chiropractor to attend their child’s high school graduation party. It’s only fair, you’ve practically paid their tuition.

There is a lacrosse ball and a field hockey ball in your desk at work. You don’t play and never have.

A co-worker shows up for a meeting six minutes late. Immediately you calculate she owes you thirty burpees.

Shaker bottles have taken over one of your cabinets and they are still multiplying.

First introductions to women named Cindy, Fran, and Diane do not go well.

You’ve purchased half of a grass fed cow and are wondering if you should have bought a bigger freezer and gotten the whole cow.

Callous shavers. One at home, one in your gym bag, one at work. You’ve caught yourself picking at them in meetings and didn’t stop.

I wonder if the neighbors will mind if I put a rower on my patio?

You’re looking for a video of the 21k row, which lasts an hour plus, and you’ll watch the whole thing. Freak

How many jump ropes do I need? I need the one that helps me do Double Unders! Obviously it’s the rope!!! Back off.

I’m not addicted. I can take a rest day anytime I want. I’ll start next week.

In all honesty it’s a great addiction to have focusing on health will always put you ahead. Take rest days otherwise you will get injured and won’t be able to play. Hit it out of the box this week.

CrossFit Rook