Hey, it’s been a while. Seriously I don’t even know if you’ll have time to read this email since you practically live at the CrossFit gym now. Oh, sorry it’s a box. What gives? We haven’t seen you in forever. Every time we talk to you it’s CrossFit this and CrossFit that. Either it’s some workout at midnight, which is weird, or some weekend competition. Next thing it’s a cookout or a happy hour.
We don’t even understand half the stuff posted on your Facebook page. What the hell do you mean you PR’d and did something Rx? And now your up at five am posting stuff to boot! You used to be a night owl. Are you ok? Taking pictures of your food or posting pictures of empty plates with the caption “time”? Huh? Time for what? Chipotle three times a week. Thanks for checking in every time. Trust me, we know where to find you!
Please explain to me your new-found love for bacon? Six months ago you wouldn’t have touched the stuff, now you can’t wait to find something new to wrap in bacon. Dates, seriously? Bacon wrapped dates!?!? Have at it bro. All you.
People have been saying its a cult. Is it? Please don’t tell me there is a leader in a white robe talking about the end and only his or her disciples will make it! I checked it out online and it looks hard as hell and people have gotten hurt. This rhabdo stuff is no joke.
Ok, time to come clean. We want in. Your box looks ten times more fun than our globo gym and the members, well, God bless Facebook pictures. Damn! You are having way more fun than us and look a hell of a lot stronger than when we were doing preacher curls. Are you still doing those? You have to be. Or did you switch to cable curls? Anyway, how can we join? Is there a pizza night or something?
Look forward to hearing from you.